Thinking about home

surprising myself

I hated growing up in the suburbs. The Philadelphia Mainline was like an end-of-season children’s corn maze: stuffy, claustrophobic, homogenous, and horribly boring. As a teenager, I spent weekends on the train, escaping from suburbia into the city. But the commute was fraught. Embarking at a Zone 3 station was so embarrassing! Why couldn’t we live in Bryn Mawr, or better yet Narberth or Haverford? I itched to be closer to Philly. The city felt more like a place in the real world. In and directly around Philadelphia, I felt like I was connected to a meaningful system comprised of actual people from actual communities of the actual world. The suburbs rather felt like a disconnected collection of various public school districts, whose inhabitants only cared about the rest of the world so long as it pertained to their own interests and needs.

Comfort came knowing that I’d be moving soon. I only applied to colleges in major American cities. I was ready to say goodbye to suburbia forever and embrace my future in an exciting metropolis. It’s ironic that I fled my hometown for Los Angeles, a city poked fun at for feeling like an overgrown suburb.

People love to hate this town. Here are some common complaints:

• It’s too expensive

• There’s not enough public transportation

• The parking sucks

• People are fake

• It’s not convenient to get places

• It’s dirty

• There’s a huge crime/homeless issue

I also must admit that I was hate-pilled too. Even just a few months ago, Los Angeles felt temporary. I saw it as a pitstop before going to bigger, better, and more pedestrian-friendly cities. I told my parents that my life plan was this:

1. LA for my 20s

2. NYC for my 30s

3. Europe for the rest.

I was only in this town to establish myself in entertainment. My address was purely utilitarian.

I don’t feel that way anymore. Thank goodness. Old Patrick was stupid as shiiii- No, let’s be kind. Old Patrick was likely just homesick.

I’m coming up on my 7th year living in Los Angeles. How would I describe this city? Los Angeles is the world. There are people from every culture and way of living you can think of creating community and building lives inside this city. But Los Angeles is also entirely separate from the world. There is no other city on Earth like LA. Of course, there’s the nature. Drugs can’t compare to how Los Angeles feels on a 70-degree and sunny day in January. Some of my favorite beaches in the world are tucked away by the cliffs of Malibu. Even when the perfect weather is interrupted by a rare storm, the rain seems more beautiful. Maybe it’s because we don’t see the rain all that often so we feel compelled to appreciate the precipitation when it does fall. And ohmygoshhh, who could forget about those sunsets?

Then, there’s the people. Today I read a post on Instagram that said something along the lines of “Los Angeles is a city where the creative black sheep from every town in America come together and make art.” Liked. Shared. Commented: Period. It feels like everyone here is an artist. You’ll get in an Uber and strike a conversation with your driver who's talking about the comedy open mic that he hosts. At a house party, you’ll meet a friend of a friend of a friend who just road-tripped last week from New Mexico to become a music producer. A random Hinge match tells you she runs a gallery out of Downtown. There are your friends who are grinding day in and day out on a brutal agency desk to one day run Hollywood as an exec. And obviously, there are the actors, the writers, the directors, the singer-songwriters, the dancers, ETCETERA! Everyone here is passionate about something. And they’re brave enough to do something about that passion. The city is alive and buzzing with courage and creativity. It’s an inspiring energy. It makes you want to take a chance on yourself too. Los Angeles permits you to make your dreams come true. (!!!!!)

“But what about the superficial people?” What about them? (???) I don’t know. I guess some people can be vain and uncaring. I remember watching the light die in my improv classmate’s eyes as she immediately lost interest when I lied and said I didn’t work in the industry. But for every clout-chasing airhead, countless others will treat a stranger like family. There’s the dental technician-astrologer-actress who gives you a free chart reading just because it’s your birthday. Or the rising pop star who takes time out of her day, before she embarks on a national tour, to check in on you over coffee. And there’s also the thousands of Angelenos banding together in the face of tragedy this week to support each other at the food bank or the shelter or online.

Okay true, Los Angeles isn’t a hippie commune. It’s a brutal city. There’s poverty and natural disasters and ohmyfuck the TRAFFIC and the PARKINGGGGG… you want to get dinner at 6:30 on a Tuesday in KOREATOWN??? And maybe the clubs close too early compared to New York and maybe they don’t throw parties in the hills like they used to (or I’m just not being invited? Please, someone throw me a bone) and sure coffee shouldn’t be $9. I won’t deny these things. But at the same time, I’ve never had to abandon my plans and go back home after being unable to find parking. Maybe I’ll walk a little farther or pay a bit more to park at a garage. Maybe I’ll get lucky and someone will vacate their spot by the curb. Despite the obstacles this city throws my way, I always figure it out. That’s the ethos of Los Angeles. It’s a city comprised of people with the unshakeable belief that they’ll figure it out. Despite the fires and the earthquakes and the rent and the lack of parking, we call this city home because we love it. We’re a community and a culture fueled by love, whether it be the love for our art or the love for the outdoors or the love for the people. We’re here out of love and the rest? Well, we’ll figure it out. For this, Los Angeles is gritty and it’s passionate and it’s wild and it’s amazing. It has my respect and it has my heart. Los Angeles is my home. To type those words is a blessing.

1/6/25. My romantic little corner of town.